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The Core i7 870 - An Ancient Relic of History

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So, a while ago, I found myself in a very awkward situation. I happened to be with a couple of my friends, when the question; " What PC do you use?" came up, and suddenly everyone was chatting about it. I heard shouts of " Ryzen 5", and " Core i5's", and names of GPU's that I'd have to sell part my body in order to obtain them. Eventually, my turn came up, and I very proudly said; " I got an Intel Core i7 870, with 32 gigs of DDR3 RAM, and GT 1030 2GB from Nvidia". All eyes were on me now. " A 870? I studied that during history class." one person went, " Err yes?" said, soon understanding the gravity of my old processor.  Now I know what you may be thinking, what on Earth is a Core i7 870, and how exactly ancient is it. Well to answer your questions, the Core i7 870 was Intel's 2nd gen Core i7 processor, released in the 3rd quarter of 2009, with an MSRP of nearly $300. (However, you can get one of these CPU...